Last moments in China

After arranging a late check-out, I caught up on emails and planned my arrival in Singapore. It is still uncertain whether I am going to India, which is complicating matters. I took a singing taxi driver to my airport hotel. He should definitely reconsider his career options! I finally arrived at the Blue Sky Mansion. It is officially a three-star hotel but I was pleased with my room: a nice king-size bed, a water-cooler, clean room etc. I went for a swim in the pool, and then had my last meal at the hotel Chinese restaurant. The second I stepped back in my room, the phone rang and the receptionist asked me if I needed a massage. Broke and uninterested in getting pounded on, I turned it down. I popped “Meet the Fockers” (funny, btw) in my laptop and jumped into bed. About ten minutes later, the phone rang again and the same lady asked if I needed a “service girl”. I said “What?” and she said “Do you need a Chinese girl?” I gave her a firm no and told her not to call again. I woke up the next day at 5:30am to catch the airport shuttle. As I was checking out, I asked the cashier to return the 100 yuan deposit I had paid on my credit card, but insisted that there was no time so she laid out “100 yuan” in small bills on the table. I was in a rush to catch the shuttle so I just put the pile in my pocket and hopped into the shuttle. I then took out the money again and realized that she gave me four 5 wu jiao bills instead of four 5 yuan bills, which are worth 10 times less. ($0.20 instead of $2, nothingness but still insulting…) I relived the events in my mind and remembered that the English-speaking driver was there when I received my deposit and gave a mischievous smile to the receptionist when I accepted it. I said nothing as he helped me with my luggage all the way to the Singapore Airlines counter. I then gave him my 4 5 wu jiao bills and told him “Here’s 20 kuan, thanks for your help” He asked if he could get a 20 kuan bill instead. I then told him that if he wants a decent tip, he can ask the receptionist for the difference. I gave me an “I’m sorry we’re robbing you” smile and left without further argument. I managed to screw them back at their own game!

Security did not like the 20 inch long machete I had in my checked luggage so a representative from the airline asked me to follow her to search the bag. They played with my machete for a few seconds and told me that it was fine. I’m now 35000 feet in the air, about 2 hours away from Singapore. I managed to carry 80kgs of luggage without paying a single excess baggage penalty! Yahoo!